I've Been Tagged by Madam Leilanie..

Cutesie Leilanie tagged me on this..am willing to give a go at it anyways. I didnt understand the rules to this tagging thing though. to learn about it please ask her..ahaa..

(This rule was taken from Sweet Leilanie: I've Been Tagged on the Final 5 )
The Rules:Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom spot.
1. The Cosmic Abyss
2. Purple Ink Tumbles From My Humble
3. life's like this...
4. Sweet Leilanie
5. Liz's Life

Then you select five people to pass the love on to. (put their names in)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Now, on to the questions! (Finally I found time to answer them!)

What were you doing ten years ago?
1996 was the year:
1. I got my SPM results (wow, has been that long already?)
2. I took my driver's license (ahaa...infact i am a good driver now after some road mishaps)
3. Applied for University
4. June 1996 enrolled into Architecture School in UTM skudai JB (4 years of wholesomeness!)
5. Became an insomniac

What were you doing one year ago?
Was in a really bad relationship (It was bitter, bitter and bitter! what more can i say?)

Five snacks you enjoy
1. Jack and Jill Sour Cream and Onion Potato Chips
2. Sour Cream and Onion PRINGLES
3. Ice Cream (Ahaa, get those low fat ones!)
4. Those crab crackers that is shaped like a square pillow (known as biskut bantal)
5. I so love chocolates (suddenly crave for some!!)

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics off your head right now:
1. Dreaming by the late Selena (that song brings memories)
2. Shower me with your love by Surface (gets me everytime!)
3. Kau Pergi Jua by Adam Ahmad (it is soo sappy)
4. January by Glenn Fredly (this has a story behind it)
5. Stick with you by the Pussycat Dolls (where is my darling?,..i'll stick with you forever!)

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Allocate sufficient funds into a fixed deposit with high interest so the money will multiply.
2. Pay off all my debts (Only my JPA & PTPTN study loan)
3. Buy a 4acre piece of land in New Zealand and turn it into paradise and move all my direct family there..(indoor pool, ranch, herb plantation, fruit trees...ahaaa!)
4. Manufacture my recipes and become famous!
5. Help the needy

Five bad habits
1. Procrastination (this i can't agree more with Leilanie....hehehe)
2. Buy things when i need to lift my spirits and feel better.
3. Stare at any mirror when i see one (not vain...hehehe)
4. Hate sweeping the floor
5. Hate cleaning up my own room

Five things you like doing:
1. Cooking (have a passion for it)
2. Wake up late (hehehe...)
3. Recently i realised i had a passion for blogging too...hahaha
4. Watching TV!
5. Go on dates...(i get to do it again...weeeeee)

Five things you would never wear, buy, or get new ones ever again
1. Will never buy another pair of jeans (dont think they suit me lah)
2. Avon compact powders
3. Really thin high heeled shoes (they are hard to balance in!)
4. Slippers that grip in between my toe and 2nd jari kaki..it hurts!
5. A cap, hehe

Five favorite toys:
1. Yeap, love my makeup set too (Still agreeing with Leilanie on this!..we are girls ya know)
2. My toolbox which is actually my stationary box (supply of felt pens, markers, pens, paint brushes & all kinds of stationary that is available in a stationary store!)
3. My Jet-Air (bought it from the telly..)
4. Handphone, yeap...cool gadget it is.. can't live without it!
5. My earring stash (how many earrings should a girl own?....hehehe)

Woo hooo....its all done...so whaddaya say Leilanie?.....OK? hehehehe, way to go Liz!!!

That's The Way It Is...

When i was so upset and had given up totally...aidilia my bestfriend dedicted this song to me by Celine Dion...

I can read your mind
And I know your story
I see what you're going through
Yeah
It's an uphill climb
And I'm feeling sorry
But I know it will come to you
Yeah
Don't surrender"Cause you can win
In this thing called love

When you want it the most
There's no easy way out
When you're ready
And your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes for those who believe it
And that's the way it is

When you question me
For a simple answer
I don't know what to say
No
But it's plain to see
If you stick together
You're gonna find the way
So don't surrender'
Cause you can win
In this thing called love

refrein
That's the way it is
When life is empty
With no tomorrow
And loneliness starts to call
Baby don't worry
Forget your sorrow'
Cause love's gonna conquer it all

Let the dating game begin...

Being single aint all that bad..coz u get to go on dates with anyone single..hehehe. It is lonely but then again i have told myself over and over again that things will get better for me..i will find my partner in life soon (dunno how soon, wished i knew), as god made each of us a pair. So, live life to the fullest, dun restrict yourself to doing good quality things and dun let anyone down but yourself...love yourself to the utmost hehehe...

Love, hugs and kisses!

Pink Ribbon anyone?..

Now, my share on this...

Last year in April (during that time of the month) i discovered i had a lump the size of a peanut in my left breast but i just dissed it coz i thought (at the time) that well during (those time of the months) women do develop lumps that soon goes away (when the time of the month is gone).

Then a month later is was still there. Another month it was still there. I totally forgot about it and in June i looked in the mirror and it looked bruised. So, after much thought i decided to go for a check up at the Damansara Medical Centre. This was the funny part:

At the counter (X-Ray area):

Liz: Hi, I made an appointment this morning regarding a mammogram?

Lady at counter: Oh, you need to fill out this form and wait for your name to be called.

Liz: (looking around..heck i was the only one there...) So, i filled out this form and gave it back to her and she told me to sit.

10 minutes later...

Lady at counter: You may go into that room (pointing at the room where it says mammogram).

Liz: So, i lazyly walked in lah.

Inside the memmogram room..

Young Nurse: You may change into those and wait for the docter to come.

Liz: So, i changed into those hospital robes and made myself comfy on the bed..hehe.

Then the docter came in...female..thank GOD!

Docter: Ok, have you had a mammogram before?

Liz: This is my 1st time.

Docter: Do you have any family history of breast cancer.

Liz: None, not that i know of.

She was asking all these while checking my breast...haha! Strange having a lady feeling it..

Docter: You look awefully young, how old are you?

Liz: I am 27..

Docter: Huh..27, (she gave me a quirky smile) Actually a mammogram is only meant for women over 40...

Liz: (now i'm confused) The lady at the counter didnt say anything..

Docter: Well, some people just are not alert of their job..Ok, you go into the other room (the ultrasound room).

In the Ultrasound room..

Docter: Ok now, lie down and make yourself comfortable.

Liz: (Did what the docter ordered)..

The docter then put this gel on my breast and scanned it (like the kinds when your checking for the baby's stage!)

After both breasts were ultrasounded...(Heartbeating fast!) ..

Docter: Ok, you dont have any serious lump, it is not a tumor..

Liz: then what is it?

Docter: Its located on top of the skin (the 2nd layer i guess), its more like an acne,..

Liz: Almost laughing... Hehe, i thought i was thne 1st in the family..

Docter: Well, its good of you to come and check..do you do regular self checks at home?

Liz: Very seldom...

Docter: Well, you should do it monthly...preventation is better than cure..

So, that was it. And i still have this peanut size acne that does not seem like it wants to pop! (Bisul kot....hehehe)

What is breast cancer?
Breast cancer occurs when cells in the breast begin to grow out of control and then invade nearby tissues or spread throughout the body. Large collections of this out of control tissue are called tumors. However, some tumors are not really cancer because they cannot spread or threaten someone's life. These are called benign tumors.

The tumors that can spread throughout the body or invade nearby tissues are considered cancerous and are called malignant tumors. In Theory any of the types of tissue in the breast can form a cancer, but usually it comes from either the ducts or the glands because it may take months to years for a tumor to get large enough to feel in the breast.

How Risky is anyone at getting breast cancer?

It picks it victims at random but those that have a family history and women that get their menopause late..!! Also those that take hormone pills, birth control pills, not breastfeeding, drinking alcohol alot and being overweight.

How to prevent breast cancer?

If possible, a woman should avoid long-term hormone replacement therapy, have children before age 30, breastfeed, avoid weight gain through exercise and proper diet, and limit alcohol consumption to 1 drink a day or less.

How to check?

The earlier that a breast cancer is found, the more likely it is that treatment can be curable. For this reason, we screen for breast cancer using mammograms, clinical breast exams, and breast self-exams. (Should go for checkups every 3 years for ages 20-39).

What are the signs of breast cancer?
Unfortunately, the early stages of breast cancer may not have any symptoms. This is why it is important to follow screening recommendations. As a tumor grows in size, it can produce a variety of symptoms including:

1. lump or thickening in the breast or underarm
2. change in size or shape of the breast
3. nipple discharge or nipple turning inward
4. redness or scaling of the skin or nipple
5. ridges or pitting of the breast skin

If you experience these symptoms, it doesn't necessarily mean you have breast cancer, but you need to be examined by a doctor.

Stages in breast cancer

Stage I ? early stage breast cancer where the tumor is less that 2 cm across and hasn't spread beyond the breast
Stage II ? early stage breast cancer where the tumor is either less than 2 cm across and has spread to the lymph nodes under the arm; or the tumor is between 2 and 5 cm (with or without spread to the lymph nodes under the arm); or the tumor is greater than 5 cm and hasn't spread outside the breast
Stage III ? locally advanced breast cancer where the tumor is greater than 5 cm across and has spread to the lymph nodes under the arm; or the cancer is extensive in the underarm lymph nodes; or the cancer has spread to lymph nodes near the breastbone or to other tissues near the breast
Stage IV ? metastatic breast cancer where the cancer has spread outside the breast to other organs in the body

Treatments for breast cancer

1. Surgery

2. Chemotherapy

3. Radiotherapy

4. Hormonal Therapy

5. Biologic Therapy

* I did a bit of research on this... to find out more go to:

1. www.cancer.org

2. www.cancer.gov

Yeah its true... (This is how I feel!!)

Even a lover can make a mistake sometimes
Like any other
Fall out and lose her mind
And I'm sorry for the things I did
For your teardrops over words I said
Can you forgive me
And open your heart once again

It's true I mean it
From the bottom of my heart
Yeah, it's true

Whatever happened
I know that I was wrong, oh yes
Can you believe me
Maybe your faith is gone
But I love you and I always will
So I wonder if you want me still
Can you forgive me
And open your heart to me once again, oh yeah

It's true I mean it
From the bottom of my heart
Yeah, it's true

Without you I would fall apart
I'd do anything to make it up to you
So please understand
And open your heart once again

It's true I mean it
From the bottom of my heart
Yeah it's true
Without you I would fall apart

From : Backsteet Boys, Black & Blue Album

Letting go is harder than I thought...

I have come to terms that I have to let go..I must..I have to!! But it is much harder than i thought! I did pack up stuff that made me remember all of the old memories...it was really hard to even pack them up! Now, its all in a small box safely kept away.

This is what happens when you hold on to something for so long...the reason we hang on to it beacause deep down we hope of being part of that 'thing' again. Yeah I know, i realised it that i was doing that, many, many, many times.

Letting go means that we put the past behind us no matter if it was good or bad (now, the bad ones we really should get over and get rid off)...

My life has to move on.....putting on a big smile on my face everyday trying though deep down i dont feel that way is a lie but hey...its worth a try.

Move on, look forward, leave the past behind...........

A new beginning....

21st January marks the beginning in a whole new chapter of my life. I have to learn to let go and move on. Holding on to things that are unsure can lead you nowhere. After much trying, hoping and prayers...it seems that what i want GOD does not agree. After accepting the fact that my life needs to take its course I have decided to enjoy it as i do have happy people surrounding me.

Making myself feel miserable only made life sad and sickly as I..it wasnt healthy. Though mistakes I made in the past has made me a better person today...i still don't see whats the whole point to all of this. Keep asking myself what god has in store for me... For now, I'll just have to live life day to day..take baby steps before i can finally run.

Moving on requires much patience and faith. Letting go of something that I've hold on to for so long is difficult. Though sometimes i'm afraid that my past will taunt and haunt me again...as long as i have full control on my life..things will be allright. Think positive right!!

Friends, good friends, old friends, close friends, bestfriends and family are all I have for now. I am lucky for having aidil stand by me through all this. Thanks aidil, i owe you so much!

If someone does come my way soon, and if my heart skips a beat...then he will be the one for me. Now, all I am hoping for is a wonderful life....

A White Rose to a love so pure...

Meaning:
Innocence, purity, secrecy, I am worthy of you, silence, friendship, truth, virtue, girlhood, humility spiritual love, but of the soul, reverence, charm, happy love.

To show love in its purest form...a white rose is the perfect gift!

Life is Beautiful: Pick-Me-Upper

This is a good one.... girls read this...

Life is Beautiful: Pick-Me-Upper

Liz's Wishlist!!

1. To marry my dream guy.. (ya see its a dream guy...therefore he does not exist...i'll never marry!)

2. Have 4 children (Dun minds all girls..all boys or a mixture of both...dun mind twins either).

3. Live in a house by the beach somewhere. (Malaysia excluded)

4. Have a property in New Zealand.

5. Own a chain restaurant worldwide..(still thinking of a name..got the concept already..anyone interested to sponsor do drop me an email!)

6. After 4 kids still weighing 50kg, and looking like a HOT MAMA!

7. Open an animal shelter for cats... (I think SPCA needs HELP!)

8. Become a very successful woman behind a successful man.

9. Hosts dinner parties once a month.

10. Give the best education that money can buy to my children.

* So far...this is it...hehehe.....

Be with the one you love OR Be with the one that love u

Hmm...this what my mother highlighted to me about love and life sometime ago when i was rather LOST!

Mama: Liz, stop feeling miserable about yourself..things happen for a reason

Liz: Mama, i'll stop feeling like this when i choose to!

Mama: Its not healthy being this way, you do have your friends!

Liz: Yeah, but all of my girlfriends are either on dates, engaged or married..so they have no time for lil pathetic me... (sulking with tears)

Mama: Someone will come to you, you'll have to be patient.... (bla bla bla...mom talking as i was so absorbed in myself)

Liz: Mama, I know what i'm doing, and i'm going to handle this my way ok... right now i feel like being left alone...

Mama: Liz, we all love you and we dont like to see you like this!

Liz: Yeah, but GOD is enjoying every bit of it...tormenting me like this! (Being angry at god gets you nowhere, trust me on this!)

Mama: You cant blame GOD for what happened to you..its all the path of life.

Liz: Yeah, HE could have changed it..but noooo....HE chose to just watch and see me bitter!!

Mama: GOD is teaching you something, he wants you to be a better person.. pray and be patient.

Liz: I know, i regret everything, but then it doesnt seem to be getting better is it?

Mama: You cant expect things to change just like that...time is what it takes..

Liz: All i want is someone for me..i'm not asking for much..GOD is that so hard?

Mama: Why dont you love someone that loves you...you can train yourself to love the person because loving someone who does not love you will get you nowhere....(This is the bit!)

Liz: (A Golf ball suddenly hit me on the head...OUCH...Reality bites)... Hmmm...

Mama: (was smiling with utter concern over her daughters frantic case of excessive negative behaviour....i was constantly crying, cooping up in my room, not eating as much...hating friends!)

Liz: Ok, mama... i still think that GOD is having fun with all of this!

Mama: Suit urself.. if ur bored and you need to feel happy...join us or call up aidil!

Liz: Ok mama... going to sleep (at 3pm...slept like a log i did!)

NOTE: Mom's knows best no matter how angry at GOD we may be at most times!

Final semester... a love hate relationship!

IT is finally my final semester, i love it yet i hate it also..why do u ask? Coz you see i love it coz i am finally finishing my schooling period which i thought would never end...and then i hate it coz this semester is like a living nightmare...i have this tesis i need to finish and a final tourism development project which seems to be going nowhere (note: its a class project that everyone has to be involved in but have their own individual issues!) So, u see I have my own set of issues which i still havent resolved (hmm...when will i do it??..think think!).

I am too much worried about my life which i dont see going anywhere yet...cant even imagine how i am in 5 years to come..see how pathetic that can be. I am so worried about myself that i am missing the things that is going around me..(aidil my bestfriend is saying...'Liz, u have so many happy people around u...stop making urself miserable) Therefore, supposedly following in her advice i am getting in touch with old friends... Ya see, life aint all bad..coz whatever it is you must think positive!

A Love I Dream of.....

Selena - Dreaming of You

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I wish on a star that somewhere you are
Thinking of me too

Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you ever see me
And I wonder if you know I'm there
If you looked in my eyes
Would you see what's inside
Would you even care?

I just wanna hold you close
But so far all I have a dreams of you
So I wait for the day
And the courage to say how much I love you
Yes I do!

I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me
Corazón
I can't stop dreaming of you
No puedo dejar de pensar en tiI can't stop dreaming
Cómo te necesitoI can't stop dreaming of you
Mi amor, cómo te extraño

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe
That you came up to me and said "I love you"I love you too!

Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
Till tomorrow and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming of you endlessly

Dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room
I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Endlessly
And I'll be holding you tightDreaming...with you...tonight!

This song gives me tears each time it is played...it has so much memories that i don't want to forget...he gave me meaning in life that i couldnt see and now that it is lost ...i don't know when I'll get that kind of Love again... In dreams and in Fantasy....

I deserve to be loved....is that so much to ask for?

I deserve to be loved...I am only human and it is so hard to even ask for happiness from GOD.

He does not seem to be answering my prayers at all... I know that HE must have something planned for me, but if he could give me a small glimps of the good things to come, I would be contented and happy already. I am getting from confused to sadness to actually being infected with a broken heart.... how pathetic is that!

I have all these dreams...all these goodthings that I dream of doing with the person that gives me bliss... I'll love him like he's never been loved and takecare of him with all the Tender Loving Care the love of my life should get..yet all my prayers for my one true love...remains unanswered.

No one is knocking on my door...i dun even see an open window..not even a small teeny weeny HOLE! Life is unjust, cruel...and some of us are really lucky while some just gets hit with badluck over and over again... yet all I dream of is someone that can take me and sweep me off my feet...where the hell is my prince charming!! (heck theres a damsel in distress in a tower that needs some serious saving!)

'Love, engagements & Weddings'

It is any little girls dream to fall in love, get engaged and be married to the right person! I remembered dreaming of my Mr. Right but then, its only an illusion as a dear friend told me that anyone can be 'the one'. The concept of 'the one' can actually be the wrong person for you but at the time you were with them..therefore, that was 'the one' for you....seems confusing right! Therefore each and everyone of us have gone through our fair share of 'the one'...

We all thought that being in Love will lead to getting engaged then top it up with a grand wedding...how i wish it was all that easy... It takes heartache to finally find the 'right person' that actually can accept you for who you truely are! Love has to have 'Give & Take'..or else it won't work..trust me...i know....

Then, when the time comes..theres the engagement ring to think about...with stone, without stone, yellow gold, white gold, platinum!!...argh..its just a ring for god sake!

It looks so nice on my finger!..wanna see?

Now, the moment of truth...the wedding! Where to do it....home...hotel...hall, heck it doesnt matter!! Parents are the ones that are overly excited about this (to all moms..your time has passed so let your daughter have her way ok!). Another ring is in store for the future bride to be...(isnt it lovely being a girl!). Usually a wedding ring has a stone on it, can be any type of stone but preferred are diamonds ...(guys, the bigger the carat, the better i guess...Bling bling!).

Isn't it precious...its all mine to keep!

Then it comes to the married life...cant write about it yet...wait till i'm married then i'll tell..

Happy New Year 2006!

Well, where did i celebrate my new year?...in Rompin, Pahang by the beach! The reason was we had a site visit so we had to stay there 5 days 4 nights! And i took pictures of myself..had practically nothing to do after each task was done.

The picture was taken at Ombak beach chalet somewhere in Lanjut Rompin. Love the trees!

Somerset resort was beautiful, couldnt resist taking snapshot there!

More and more photoes after the other, hehehe.
Am I fotogenic? Hmmm....

Big smile now!

Untill my next study vacation.... Bye Bye!