Is it LOVE???

What is love actually? I recently was made notice that the love I thought I felt was not actually whole yet. Loving someone means that you should accept them the way they are…the type of work that they do, their attitude, their personality, everything…When you love them ‘WHOLEHEARTEDLY’ only then will we be able to live by their side no matter how hard life gets.

-To love and honour in sickness and in health, through thick and thin, happiness and sorrow till death do us part!.. I thought I did love him sincerely..but from what I told him he said that he no longer knew me, he felt that I’m far and that there’s a possibility I may leave him. ‘Leave Him’..a word I know too well..I am a master at packing up and leaving just like that though a relationship is working! Crazy?? Yes, now I see it…I see it after it happens only to realize later that my actions were foolish and the actual person suffering was no other than ME..ME..ME!! Poor me! I should realize this now but I don’t know how. I can’t leave then find out later when later maybe too late to even go back! Ya see, I think I am screwed for life, cursed to even have this sort of feeling.

My definition of Love seems a myth, my idea of it..only in my imagination (UNREAL!!...but is it?). I know that I love spending every bit of my time with him, I know I miss him, I can’t stand not hearing his voice in a day..but can that be interpreted as Love? I was told that I have to find ‘What I Want, and what actually I am searching for in life…to know myself first then I’ll be able to love others as they love me..to give the ultimate love..TRUE LOVE! Someone used to tell me ‘I never loved him wholeheartedly’. though I tried and at the end I thought I did but then again…I’m not too sure now. Am I in Love with the idea of being in Love or am I really in Love? I am still unable to answer this question myself for myself…till then my heart will be in serious Jeopardy.